ADAM HAYDOCK

A long time ago I realized I had two lives, the second one began when I realized I had one.  All of our interactions end in death or breakup. It sounds negative right???!?… well actually, it’s not. This cycle of ending brings forth a transformation and speaks to the dogma of the impermeance law of the universe. 

What is certain is that change will occur. Uncertainty is certainly going to happen. It has been this way since time began and humans have always lived in some type of jeopardizing situation. 

Grow yourself and the world around you. Love and give. Do not stop, and when you go off your path, purpose, or potential, rise again.  

Men, I am speaking to you. I have been exposed to it too. I'm out in the open and vulnerable as I hold space for this presence, I find the mechanism of our reference experiences is a foundation for confidence. You already have been successful, and you can do it again. Your perspective is valid and your course through these foundering seas of our journey will never lay astern. Expect rough times, expect success, and expect greatness out of you. 

Men, I am speaking to you, this is a call out and a stand we must take. A stand I am taking right now. Take it for you and take it for our women. 

Your container of Balance this within you and your presence as your own observance to your emotions.  Empower your emotions as mechanisms within life happening for you, not to you. Your emotions mean change, something is wrong, something is not working, something needs to be addressed and your indicators of emotion are the alerts on your car panel to service your relationship and/or service YOU!

Men, I am one of you.

And to that I say, we all need to be fucking better. We have to. Our women deserve better. 

Take responsibility with the direction of growth in the relationship.

This is our responsibility, and we’re failing our women.

Bring up the hard conversations, get raw, get real, and even get honest with yourself. Why would you wait for your woman to bring up the hard conversations? 

When this happens, our women don’t trust us. They can’t count on us. They have to take charge. They have to assume the masculine responsibility. They can’t soften into our love. They’re trying to FIND our love.

We have to realize that this is our women wanting to feel more of our love.

They just want more of us. They want to feel chosen. To feel fought for.

You know what they want? They want to fucking lean into us and submit to us. They want to worship us. They want to tell us how much they want us. They want to feel safe owning every ounce of their desire for us, so they’re free to screaming from their fucking heart and vagina in simultaneous unison. 

They want to worship our dicks. They want to worship our hearts. But we have to give them a reason to. 

That’s what they want. They want to open to us so utterly it will rock our entire fucking world.  They want to feel our energy releasing deep inside of them as you roar with orgasmic dominance while holding and connect with your women. 

But, if they don’t trust us, if they don’t trust us to take control of the relationship, they will shut down. They will close their lips, both pairs, and shit down. 

It’s okay to feel sad about this. It’s ok

Be afraid that you won’t be able to give the love your woman deserves. Own it. Embrace it. Allow yourself to be scared. Speak your shame aloud. 

Be present to all of this. AND GO ANYWAY. Lean into your fear. If your scared of what will happen DO IT ANYWAY! Take the leap. Fail horribly. Look dumb. Look stupid. Be utterly open and vulnerable with your love. With your desires. With every part of you. Don’t hold back. 

Lead her. Devour her. Guide her. 

Allow her to soften towards her dream, and her undying light. 

Take responsibility to tell her where we’re going. To paint her the picture. To bring it to her. 

Bring up the hard conversations. If your sex life sucks, be the one to initiate this conversation with your woman and tell her what you want your sex life to look like. Paint her the fucking picture. 

Tell her what turns you on. Tell her what you desire. 

Initiate with her. Tell her how fucking badly you want her. 

If you’re disconnected, be the first one to take that step and say you’re disconnected.

If things are awkward, say they’re awkward. 

If the relationship has to end, don’t drag her through the inevitable demise, end the relationship. 

When you take charge with your woman, she exhales and says internally to herself, “It’s safe for me to have my dream now.”

So, when you fail to guide her and ground her, you steal her dream from her. 

Our women are suffering because there is an epidemic of men not taking their relational responsibility. 

Take charge of dictating what the container of our relationship looks like. 

Of course, she’s a part of the conversation. This is not a dictatorship. But we must go first. We must lead her where we want to go. 

It’s time to wake up. 

Sure, she may say she trusts you, but her body won’t. Not fully. 

You’ll be with your woman, but she’ll never open to you fully. She’ll always withhold a part of herself from you because, deep, deep in her body, SHE DOES NOT TRUST YOU. 

How does that feel? Knowing you’re with your woman but she is not opening to you fully? Knowing she is not being ravished by you in the way her soul, heart and body utterly desire?

It fucking hurts, doesn’t it?

It’s time for us to step up. To assume our responsibility and if you absolutely have to make the call, do it. Love her enough to leave the relationship. 

We must not look for her for validation or reassurance, we have to be willing to upset her, trigger her, or disagree with her, just as long as we’re walking in alignment with the highest intention of our heart and soul. 

It doesn’t matter how much money you make. All it matters is your fucking commitment to your highest purpose.

A broke man with integrity is more of a man than a millionaire who is out of alignment with his greatest truth. 

We don’t need things to be a man. We don’t need stuff. 

We just need to guide her and lead her where our truth wants us to go. 

What do we want? Where do we want to go? What do we want our love to look like? Our lives to look like? We must go first. 

If we wait for her to decide for us, we’re failing her and failing ourselves. 

We must move the train. It’s her job to decide if she wants to hop on and be a part of our hero’s mission on this planet. 

Men, in order to be this for our women, we have to be willing to lose our women. It’s the only way. It’s the only way we can lead her to her dream. By owning our truth powerfully enough that she might leave us because of it.  Love her enough to let her go. 

Sure, by not owning that, we may still have our woman, but we will never actually have our woman. 

Understand?

She actually will never have herself. 

It will be a repressed, caged, ambiguous love. But it won’t be fierce. It will never be fierce. 

Don’t we all want to love something fierce? 

Something so fucking fierce we both want to cum and cry at the same time. 

We have to meet our edge, constantly. We have to be willing to die, constantly. We have to meet our hurt. We have to meet our trauma. We have to meet the depths of our bodies and all the pain that comes along with it. Die for our women, over and over. 

We have to be so in our fucking bodies we can read her body, we can feel her body, and we can sense when something is off.

And we dictate the container from this awareness. We assume the responsibility so she can rest. So, she can rest and be the love she craves. 

And we must hold that discomfort, hold it, and love harder, love harder. 

We must not allow that discomfort of her light dimming to lead us to retreat, but for it to push us to pry her open, to be the jester for her heart, to lead her to the arrival of the greatest truth in that moment. 

When we don’t do this, when we are not willing to die our deaths and meet our pain, we will never be able to bring our women their relational dream. 

When they drag us along, they’re dying a slow death. 

Their feminine dies a slow death. 

They will guide us, and they won’t want to fuck us. 

Every time she has to be the one to bring up that hard conversation, to control the direction, you’re failing her, and her life force is suffering because of it. Of course, our women have a say and will bring up hard conversations but not at the absence of men failing to step up and address the hard conversations he can’t have. Men, you know exactly what I am talking about. Maybe you want to avoid a fight, not deal with her being “crazy”, not lose the opportunity to have sex, or not feel enough because your insecurity to lose your women? 

You don't have her to begin with and I will guarantee you that you are “losing” her if you do not have those hard conversations. The story you tell yourself about her “crazy” behavior is your own, not her responsibility. 

She is craving you to step up, to hold space for her emotions, be that still observing space protecting her, do not shame her for being wild, Unwinding, and fierce. Women know when you do not step up and its poison dripping her life force.  Besides, we all want something fierce deep within our core. 

It’s time we bring the women of the world the dream that lives in their bodies. 

Women are the portal to the divine, but only if we allow them to soften into the gifts, they want to bring to us. 

Love enough to let go of the relationship. If something is inherently and fundamentally wrong with the relationship, bring it up. don't wait. Be the one to audit the relationship and end the relationship. There is someone for her and someone for you that wants to be fierce and wild.  Let her find love and you find your love.  A love to live with, experience, and to die for.  your warrior woman.  Find her and let her be the wild woman you really want.

A truth is that we do not lose anyone. Our relationships either transform or the physical form of our bodies transform in death, we do not actually lose anyone. They were never ours to begin with. This material body came from inside life and transforms back into the earth. 

To my friends and everyone I share love with, yes, my friends are also loved. I cannot commit that I will be here for the rest of your days, but I can promise you will be loved for the rest of mine. When you are accepted into my castle you are loved. The boundaries are fortified through experience but once inside, you will be loved. But there is a love that is fierce, wild, raw, and full of experience saved for that one person.  That warrior woman that will fight for you, that woman that you want to share with world with and die for.  That kind of love awaits.  The kind of love where you both cum together as you Howell at the moon.  

To everyone else I love: When I die, you will never actually lose me. Our effects carry on with those who continue to succeed after us. Our effects provided directions you took in the experiences you and others had, have, and will have. What we all have become and what we will do will have an influence on the present 

If you are ever lost and want to find me, Look deep into the wild. Look in that place where it’s fierce and unyielding. That place where we laugh loud, scream with conviction, cum with a roar, and cry with vigor. 

Go deeper!!! Look further!!! You haven’t lost me; I’ve been here this whole time. The illusion of loss is a story we tell ourselves. Look deep within you and I will always be there, in that beautiful place we experience. It’s that place that's raw and wild! That place where we celebrate and remember, together.  It’s that place deep in the Grand Canyon where we endured, a place deep inside a cave where curiosity drove us deeper, or that place where love will always be found. My friends, lovers, family and to all I have interacted with, you already know where that place is. it’s that place that’s fierce, it’s raw, and it’s wild! That’s the place where you will always find me. Our physical form leaves… our affect remains…. fair trade.