CHAPTER 2, GROW
April 03, 2023
THE RIPPENING EFFECT
For those that I want the best for and for those whom I love. I want you to suffer. Yes, you read that correctly, I want you to suffer. I want you to stand up for your boundaries and beliefs and face the consequences. I want you to build a series of plans and have those plans fail over and over. I want you to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I want you to meet the right person at the wrong time.
I want you to work for a dream: the kind of dream that would be the pinnacle of your purpose and passion with the gift of sharing that dream with people you trust, only to have them fight, deceive, lie, steal, and hate each other for it...
The kind of fighting where friendships end. yes, you heard me right, I want you to suffer. I want you to fall in love at the wrong time, I want you to lose your job you worked so hard for to build, I want you to lose so much money you are not sure how your strategies will ever work or pay the bills. I want you to realize that there were trusted friends you surrounded yourself with, were not the people you thought they were.
I want you to get passed up for job, miss financial opportunities, and I want you to get disconnected within your paradigm of presence, your philosophy of life, and your self-worth, just to be left in a low vibration reality filled with anxiety and self-doubt. I want you end a relationship that could work but because your boundaries were crossed, you left. I also want you to give your all to organizations and groups. I even want you to fall on your face and feel like it's all your fault, feel that there is something wrong with you, and even abandon yourself feeling not enough while your impostor tells you inside of yourself, you are worthless.
Now I want this to happen all within a short time frame. I want this for you. Why? Because this could just be one of the most profound experiences, I can ever wish for you.
First off, your not losing your sight or on your death bed. This is all within your mind. What we attach meaning to and what we tell ourselves what something means to us has been within my philosophy for a long time now but to have your philosophy shaken to its core, broken, and stress tested will anchor and fortify what you really choose to believe.
We are all bad ass when we are fed, rested, and have a clear plan, but it's when we are tired, hungry, thirsty, and in an environment and a place inside your mind where we absolutely do not want to be, were we get to truly test our mental agility and philosophy.
So here we are feeling the incomprehensible amount of loss and pressure to stop the bleeding, unappreciated, not valued, and doubting your mere existence while feeling everyone has abandoned you. But was it everyone abandoning you or did you abandon yourself somewhere along the way? What if we were able to change this narrative and adopt a more empowering story to tell ourselves?
The illusion of loss is as profound as your mind interpretating what the experience means to you and the reality of the experience itself because there are two different parallel occurrences happening, the reality of what is happening and what we are telling ourselves are happening. Here is the story that I now tell myself and how I have turned the page.
Always show up as the best version of yourself. Make the choice to allow the most authentic version of you, radiate from within.
When you show up with the best version of yourself and it’s just not right for someone, honor that they communicated to you in the best way they knew how and let go knowing that there was nothing you could have done.
Lean in one last time and meet them where they are at in that space in-between the : “ I can, and, I can not”. Embrace what is felt, show compassion, honor your moment-to-moment peak experiences, find what was great, and absorb what you learned. Take your energy back and finally, love them enough to let them go.
It’s not that someone decided to not lean in, it’s that you got to see just how great of a person you can really be to someone.
You got to show yourself just how wonderful you can be to someone. Be proud of yourself and continue to model the kind of love you want to receive. If someone cannot meet you there, love them enough to let them go. They no longer get to experience you.
It’s going to feel uncomfortable and by design, it is supposed to feel uncomfortable.
Attachment to the outcome is also an illusion that we think if we get something we will be happy. Attachment comes with the disbeliefs that we will be happy once we get the idea, or the story, or the partner, or anything. We will not know if we will be happy once we get the idea or item.
The illusion of loss is our own responsibility and I believe that other than our stories, I do not think we ever really lose anything, rather it transforms.
Everyone has a story, and you may never know the story they are writing or even be able to translate the language they choose to write their story in.
Do not judge anyone by the story or chapter you walked into. Love them enough to let them go, so they can continue to write their most compelling story that means most to them.
Love is boundless, It will never be found because it’s already within us. It’s radiant, warm, and it breathes the life of magnetic enoughness. We are love.
Your commitment to your relationship with yourself is one of the best decisions, only you can make Why not live a fun, sexy, adventurous, creative, purposeful, and meaningful relationship with yourself?
When you fall down (and this will happen) observe yourself, once again, in that familiar sinister, dark, and doubtful place. It’s that comforting place where the remaining trauma runs free, tearing at your core fabrication.
When you fall, what will it mean this time? What relationship will you have with it? What new boundaries will you establish to protect you?
Are you going to continue to be the result of your coping mechanisms and your own submission to what attracts your trauma or are you going to listen to you, and let go?
Look deep into the previous versions of yourself and those stories you have told yourself. The stories of suffering, victimhood, and the stories where you abandoned yourself in the pursuit of approval, validation, love, and connection. Did that seek behavior genuine and authentic?
I do not recommend abandoning yourself to seek something that has already been within you this whole time. I also do not recommend leaving yourself to fit into someone else's frame or fixing people for the illusion of being indispensable just so they will not leave you. Their development is not your responsibility.
Take your focus back onto you. Acknowledge those timeframes, give yourself compassion, unlearn the habits that reinforced the stories being told, and let go of the shame. replace and re-write the most empowering story of that experience and let go.
What we can't control happening are opportunities for us to practice letting go.
That version is not you anymore, you are a learned you. This is where the fierce, unyielding, and the present version of yourself will rise and rise again, (and this will happen).
The stories other people write are not your responsibility nor are their traumas that they might project onto you or perceive the world in.
Some people will choose to write horror stories, comedic stories, dramatic stories, adventure stories, romance stories, They get to write any story they choose. What's amazing is that you get to choose what kind of story you want to write! Why not make it significant?
I have found that embracing the healing to homeostasis to a growth relationship with myself as a commitment to the lifelong journey rather than a temporary action just to fix something. Committing to this balance has opened my heart to allow genuine connections to naturally grow and leave along the way.
You're connected devine energy with someone will allow vulnerability and compassion to radiate from them as they support and embrace your journey. I am not going to let a rare opportunity pass me by knowing my boundaries and requirements. The people that meet those requirements are so few and if I am seeking the last relationship I will ever be in, I choose to be vulnerable.
When the future comes to the now, I look left and right. I see who made it and who I disappeared along the way. I see the people who got the chance to join the incredible abundant journey and also got to see who has stayed on-board.
I choose to know the friends that know the volume of brutality it took to make me this still.
I see the friends that know the pain it took me to become this compassionate. The kind of friends that know how dangerous we really are but choose to temper our unshaken fortitude from reaction, desire, and temptation.
These are the friends that already ran into the fire when the world was burning around me.
The few that already fought with the vigor of a 1000 on the battleground just for principle rather than an idea.
It's the friends that would die for you, in trust, knowing you would die for them. This is your Tribe, your Valkyrie.
Show up for yourself as the best version you can be. Be the person you can be proud of. Continue to strive for greatness. Let the journey be the destination and the continuous ripening effect be your resolve.
The lives you will change and the abundance you receive will be a clear reflection like a morning mountain lake. You will also be the reflection of all the people that you made happier than they would have been without you. What you shared, the experiences you gave them, and the opportunities you connected for them are all your indicators to the abundance you have given. I know I do.
In the end, when it’s time to finally let go, the friends you know will have already heard the best of your stories, but it will be the people that connected deeper into you, that helped you write them.
Even though I am seeking that one last deep loving connection with the last relationship I want to be in, travel the world, give preference, give the most incredible experiences, show up with vulnerability, authenticity, and create that safe container for her to be fierce and unyielding, I have also let that go.
Happiness is not the stories I want to tell myself about how the future is supposed to be, but harnessing where I am at now and how special the present moment actually is. That all being said, I have been able to realize many dreams and goals I have set out to achieve, So I still hold on to the belief that we can create even more realities for our dreams.
Resistance is your compass. What is your relationship with the present moment. Do I treat this moment as an enemy or obstacle. I do not need to get to another moment. Surrender to the now and to the moment. Be a channel to be open.
what is your relationship to pain, what is pain trying to tell you?
stop seeking happiness externally as soon as you place self-worth externally you are bound to lose it due to the duality of life. go into the pain and sink into the feeling of pain. It's your teacher, let it transform you from within,. embrace pain, even pulling positivity from it is fighting against it. Process the pain, Breath pain is trauma wanting to surface. Let it surface and release the trauma. There is no tool that will ever keep you in a state of happiness. you will go down again but by the virtue of non-attachment, you align with your soul. Pain is just a sensation. We succumb to its means when we make it mean something to us. Reassociate pain to mean something else other than your worth, validation, or identity.
create the reference experience that you stood up for yourself and processed trauma and when you look back at the experience.
be immovable when emotions arise, don’t compromise goals, give her what she needs, help her focus on things she can control, listen, see, hear, and understand her when she gets upset or when emotions arise. Set the tone, let her feel your loyalty, trust, and devotion. Do not be a nice guy or try to get along, create tension, keep your boundaries intact.
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